I'm fascinated by the concept of unconditional love - I hear people talk about it and wonder if it's true in the literal sense of the expression.
I was talking to a friend who shared a story where a woman was married to a man that was a minister of some sort and the man sexually abused all of his children while they were in the marriage. I was processing the experience and wondered if unconditional love was applicable in that situation, and if so, between whom. I wondered happened to the woman's heart in the experience - that was her husband harming her children; does the heart stop loving the man? Does the love stop instantly?
When you say you love someone unconditionally do you mean it literally? Do you really mean you love them under any and every condition? If they murder your baby, try to kill you, sexually abuse someone near and dear to you?
What do you think? Have you loved someone unconditionally? Have you experienced someone loving you unconditionally?
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I don't think unconditional love exists human to human; only with God.
ReplyDeleteIf it does exist, I think it is rare.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely with your kids...if not, you're a triflin parent!
ReplyDeleteI Can Only Be Me!
Anonymous number 1, definitely with God, and I choose to keep hope alive with a human expression of unconditional love also.
ReplyDeleteI Can Only Be Me... I hear you on the belief unconditional love should happen with your children. Question - do you think unconditional love could be experienced if one of your children kills one of your other children or your spouse? I know this is extreme - the purpose is to ask what you feel when you consider some of the aspects that make love more challenging (you know, the stuff you hope never happens, but sometimes does). Could you love your kid unconditionally NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO? Thanks all for the comments...
That's interesting because we can only speculate on what we've experienced thus far. I know I've spent plenty time talking with people wondering how they can accept some things people dish out. Only to experience it myself and have a completely different outlook because I'm in the situation and attached to it some sort of way. To be able to say I could love someone regardless of what they've done straight from the gate would be a lie. Could God work on me and I forgive them eventually, yes!
ReplyDeleteUnconditional love is not rational love, if I have checks and balances in your life, you will realize that unconditional is an illness and that all things should come with conditions, how do you recognized metal illness with any unconditional situation? Short on time or would get deeper.
ReplyDeleteI believe and know to be true (for myself, that is) that unconditional love, particularly with children & parents are real...Fortunately AND UNfortunately, I have experienced and/or witnessed both. Unconditional love also, does not mean being a FOOL! U can love someone so much that, if they do the wrong thing, you can react by doing the RIGHT thing! For example, if my son were to murder or rape someone...my love for him does not cease and because I love him, I wouldn't want to see him recieve death. However, because I love him, I would likely turn him in to the authorities, in order to save the lives of others, save his life but mostly to SAVE HIS SOUL! Sometimes, we confuse love with stupidity and think that because we love someone and don't want to see them hurt or harmed, that we must put on blinders and turn the other cheek when they do something wrong. Well...THAT'S NOT LOVE! Love HELPS, not HURTS! If I'm doing something crazy & you say you love me unconditionally, then you better snatch a knot in my a$$ right then...Otherwise, I don't want or need your kind of lovin'!!!!
ReplyDeleteNo unconditional love here. When you are wrong and abusive, to others who love you as well, there is no way you can be partial unconditionally.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I read this story once where a Grandma was supporting her Grandson who had killed a bunch of people. Her family and her church community were livid and turned her back on her for supporting him (I think the grandson killed her child - his parent - and some others in his family).
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurt for her being ostracized, AND I wondered if I could love like that.
Single Mama - I get your rape anology w/ your child. What about if he killed someone else you loved deeply, like your spouse or another kid (gross hypothetical here...)
Queen Caty - Thanks!
ReplyDeleteSnook dog - Give it to us!!!
Again I say, if you love unconditionally, it doesn't just turn itself off. Of course, you're hurt if the person you loved committed a heinous crime against another and, no matter who was killed or raped, I would personally be devastated. Devastated because, it happened and also because this person that I gave all my love energy to, could commit such a despicable crime. However, I will reiterate, just because I love this person doesn't mean I'm a fool or that I condone, support or accomplice their actions! When you love unconditionally, you also see the truth in a persons spirit. People know who their kids are, or who their spouses really are and if you TRULY LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY and are PROPERLY EQUIPPED WITH GOOD SENSE, then you will take the proper PRECAUTIONS TO CORRECT THE ONE YOU LOVE WHEN THEY ARE WRONG! As a matter of fact, I just ran into a friend 2 days ago, who when I asked how their son was doing, told me that he murdered somebody 6 mo's ago & was just sentenced to 10yrs in prison. My friend & his wife were beyond devastation & even considered leaving the country because they couldn't bear the thought of what he did & wanted to be as far away from him as possible... but they stayed & are trying to move on. He didn't have to tell me that he still loved his son deeply, it was evident & they testified against him at his trial but...they did it out of love for him...to SAVE HIS SOUL! WHEN U LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY...U LOVE INTO "RIGHTNESS"!!!!
ReplyDeleteShannae, I like how extreme that scenario is, because it brings out the real questions at hand, and that's actually what i had already based my response on. Yes, if one of my children did such as horrible thing, I would still love them. You can't turn love off at your convenience when it comes to your kids, if you ever really bonded with them in the first place. My child could try to kill me, and I would still love them...I would have to remove myself from their life perhaps, but you should always love your kids.
ReplyDeleteI Can Only Be Me!
The comments that support unconditional love express this kind of love in the parent and child relationship. What about intimate relationships, and friends and family? Any belief in unconditional love there?
ReplyDeleteI most and not all cases of "unconditional love" I believe the person love the echo, memory, thought or the person. If you have been in a bad relationship and have broken it off, but you continue to think you love that person because of the way it use to be, that is a false image that you are loving not facing that facts of the day. Yes you can love who and what you had, but to love after some of the things discussed. Is irrational, insane...we could call unconditional love, insane love, obsessive love. The only way you can have unconditional love in my eyes, is if you had the ability to resurrect and restore....beyone my abilities...
ReplyDeleteI didn't proof read
Snookdog - You don't love anyone unconditionally? You only love people you have current relationships with? What if you have a kid or close friend that moves to another state - could you still love them? Would it be insane for you to still love them because you don't see them?
ReplyDeleteFor most of my life I don't think I had unconditional love for anyone, but more because I didn't have a good understanding of what love meant to me/for me - my own definition. The closest I came is with one of my parents, and I had a severe love hate relationship with my other parent.
ReplyDeleteNow as I'm older and have done some soul searching about living and loving, I do think I can and do experience unconditional love - but I hands down don't have unconditional like.
I also think there are variations of my love, and there are people I love deeply and equally refuse to talk to based on where they currently are in their life journey and where I am in mine, but I do love them though.
LOL - Huge difference in a kid dancing on a busy street (unless it's a parade) and an adult at a park. One is seen as a whack-a-doodle (the adult) and one as a hot ass kid on the brink of teenage pregnancy! Hahaha
ReplyDelete